Humor & Story BLOG

Humor & Stories To Make Your Day

Monday, December 29, 2003


One Sunday in a midwest city a young child was "acting up" during
the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain
some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.
Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly
up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of
the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray
for me! Pray for me!"
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold".
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you
called God, "Harold"? The little boy looked up and said, "That's
what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our
Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."
And this particular four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our
trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle
from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She
pinched him into silence, and after church, asked: "Gary,
whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered soberly: "I
asked God to teach me to whistle...And He just then did!"
One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer. "Now I lay me
down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow's test, if I should die
before I wake, that's one less test I have to take."
A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. "Dear God,
thank you for these pancakes." When he concluded, his parents
asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken.
He smiled and said, "I thought I'd see if He was paying attention tonight."
A little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy
and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me.
Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to
you, we're gonna be in a big mess."
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother
says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does
she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned
to her six- year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say
the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said. The
little girl bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did
I invite all these people to dinner?"
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a
while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it
over and then said a prayer. "Fine," said the pleased mother.
"If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I
asked Him to help you put up with me."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a
better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time
like I am!"

posted by Gary  # 12/29/2003 01:16:00 PM
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