Humor & Story BLOG

Humor & Stories To Make Your Day

Monday, December 29, 2003

Deepest Thoughts

"THE STREETS ARE SAFE IN PHILADELPHIA. IT'S ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE THEM UNSAFE." - Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo

"IT IS BAD LUCK TO BE SUPERSTITIOUS." - Andrew Mathis

"IT'S LIKE AN ALCATRAZ AROUND MY NECK." - Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces

"THEY'RE MULTIPURPOSE. NOT ONLY DO THEY PUT THE CLIPS ON, BUT THEY TAKE THEM OFF." - Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers

"WE'RE GOING TO TURN THIS TEAM AROUND 360 DEGREES." - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"WHEN MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE THROWN OUT OF WORK, UNEMPLOYMENT RESULTS." - Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

"CHINA IS A BIG COUNTRY, INHABITED BY MANY CHINESE." - Former French President Charles de Gaulle

"THAT LOWDOWN SCOUNDREL DESERVES TO BE KICKED TO DEATH BY A JACKASS, AND I'M JUST THE ONE TO DO IT." - A congressional candidate in Texas

"THINGS ARE MORE LIKE THEY ARE NOW THAN THEY EVER WERE BEFORE." - Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

"A BILLION HERE, A BILLION THERE-SOONER OR LATER IT ADDS UP TO REAL MONEY." - Everett Dirksen

"I DON'T FEEL WE DID WRONG IN TAKING THIS GREAT COUNTRY AWAY FROM THEM. THERE WERE GREAT NUMBERS OF PEOPLE WHO NEEDED NEW LAND, AND THE INDIANS WERE SELFISHLY TRYING TO KEEP IT FOR THEMSELVES." - John Wayne

"HALF THIS GAME IS NINETY PERCENT MENTAL." - Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"WITHOUT CENSORSHIP, THINGS CAN GET TERRIBLY CONFUSED IN THE PUBLIC MIND." - General William Westmoreland, during the war in Vietnam

"IF YOU LET THAT SORT OF THING GO ON, YOUR BREAD AND BUTTER WILL BE CUT RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER YOUR FEET."
-Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin

"SMOKING KILLS. AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE." - Brooke Shields

"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP." - Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"

"THE POLICE ARE NOT HERE TO CREATE DISORDER. THEY'RE HERE TO PRESERVE DISORDER." - Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic convention

"IF YOU'VE SEEN ONE REDWOOD TREE, YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL." - Forestry expert Ronald Reagan

"TRADITIONALLY, MOST OF AUSTRALIA'S IMPORTS COME FROM OVERSEAS." - Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

posted by Gary  # 12/29/2003 01:52:00 PM
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