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Sunday, March 07, 2004

The Zoo

Moishe, a Jewish actor, is so down and out he's ready to take any
acting gig that he can find. Finally he gets a lead, a classified ad
that says: "Actor needed to play ape."

"I could do that," says Moishe.

To his surprise, the employer turns out to be the local zoo.

Owing to mismanagement, the zoo has spent so much money renovating
the grounds and improving the habitat, that they can no longer afford
to import the ape they needed to replace their recently deceased one.

So until they can, they'll put an actor in an ape suit.

Out of desperation, Moishe takes the offer.

At first, his conscience keeps nagging him, that he is being
dishonest by fooling the zoo-goers. And Moishe feels undignified in
the ape-suit, stared at by crowds who watch his every move.

But after a few days on the job, he begins to be amused by all the
attention, and starts to put on a show for the zoo-goers: hanging
upside-down from the branches by his legs, swinging about on the
vines, climbing up the cage walls, and roaring with all his might
whilst beating his chest.

Soon, he's drawing a sizable crowd.

One day, when Moishe is swinging on the vines to show off to a group
of school kids, his hand slips, and he goes flying over the fence
into the neighboring cage, the lion's den.

Terrified, Moishe backs up as far from the approaching lion as he
can, covers his eyes with his paws, and prays at the top of his lungs,

"Shma Yisrael Adonai Elokeinu Ad-nai Echad!"

The lion opens its powerful jaws and roars the response,

"Baruch Shem K'vod Malchuto L'olam Va'ed!"

From a nearby cage, a panda yells,

"Shut up, you schmucks. You'll get us all fired!!!"

posted by Gary  # 3/07/2004 10:25:00 PM
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