Bubba Knows Everybody

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about
Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You
and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was
just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and
motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was
just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and
let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up.."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to
Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss
replies.

"Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome.

Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when
Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among
all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go
upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure
enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart
attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's
side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope
came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked,
'Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?