Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair
Identical parts aren't.
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
--Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.
2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.
Machines should work. People should think.
--IBM's Pollyanna Principle:
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.
--The Dilbert Principle
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Thinly sliced cabbage.