Simple Wisdom

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself. The old Cherokee said, "My son, it is a battle between two wolves.

One is evil: anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego...

The other is good: joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith..."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee replied simply, "The one I feed."

Home Remedies

Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost
immediately - without the unpleasant side effects caused by
traditional pain relievers.

Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for
burns?

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled
with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously
strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish
in 1/2 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then
apply it as a massage oil for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore Throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and
take 1 Tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with alka-seltzer. Just dissolve two
tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms.
Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost
instantly - even though the product was never been advertised for
this use.

Eliminate puffiness under your eyes by dabbing Preparation H carefully
rubbed into the skin around the eyes but avoiding the eyes. The
hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor, relieving the puffiness
instantly.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes -- cover the blemish with a dab of
honey and place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the
skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Listerine therpy for toenail fungus -- get rid of unsightly toenail
fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful
antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglass protection -- to prevent the screws in eyeglasses from
loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish
to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca-Cola cure for rust -- forget those expensive rust removers. Just
saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain.
The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer -- if menacing bees, wasps,
hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home, and you can't find the
insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground
instantly.

Smart splinter remover -- just pour a drop of Elmers Glue-All over the
splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter
sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's tomato paste boil cure -- cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste
as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the
boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters -- to disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few
drops of Listerine....a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz vinegar to heal bruises -- soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and
apply it to the bruise for one hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness
and speeds up the healing process.

Kill fleas instantly -- Dawn dishwashing liquid does the trick. Add a few
drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to
avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.

Rainy day cure for dog odor -- next time your dog comes in from the rain,
simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly
making your dog smell springtime fresh. (I don't know about this one--dogs have such a keen sense of smell, I'd hate to force the sickly sweet scent on them. Toni)

Eliminate ear mites -- all it takes is a few drops of corn oil in your
cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for
three days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and
accelerates healing.

Vaseline cure for hairballs -- to prevent troublesome hairballs, apply a
dollop of vaseline petroleum jelly to your cat's nose. The cat will lick
off the jelly, lubricating any hair in its stomach so it can pass easily
through the digestive system.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief from arthritis -- it's not for breakfast
anymore! Mix two cups of instant Quaker Oats and one cup of water in a bowl
and warm in the microwave for one minute. Cool slightly and apply the
mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis.

The Old Phone

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. "Information Please" could supply anyone's number and the correct time. My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing.

Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. "Information." "I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked. I said I could. "Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where
Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, "Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?" She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in." Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."

"Information," said in the now familiar voice.

"How do I spell fix?" I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest.

When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston.

I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood
conversations never really left me. Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please." Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. "Information."

I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now." I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

"I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister. "Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information." I asked for Sally. "Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago." Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Paul?" "Yes." I answered. "Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you." The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean." I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant. Never underestimate the impression you may make on others. Whose life have you touched today? Why not pass this on? I just did....

Lifting you on eagle's wings. May you find the joy and peace you long for.

Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.

Literate put-downs

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man & worships his creator."
- John Bright

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

Helpful Housekeeping Hints...

Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful
filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF
factor of 15 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from
the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband
points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused
and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?" (I just throw glitter on them
& call them holiday decorations).

Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways
by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn
play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts
in winter).

Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into
one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy
home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, "I'd love
you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed, and the shots are
SO expensive."

Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn
on the coffee table and insist, "This is where Grandma wanted us to
scatter her ashes."

Painting: Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty
wall with an assortment of crayons and try to muster a glint of tears as
you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident, and
I haven't had the heart to clean it."

General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner
with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave
dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look,
throw yourself on the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean, and I still
don't get anywhere."

As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie
pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a
bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works
every time.

If the house is clean, the computer has crashed